What is Happening Right Now

Until all the other pieces of my life come together, the question is: What is happening right now? I am in an odd season... though perhaps that is something I say more often than it is true. But this certainly is different than I expected or planned for two years ago when I left my full time job of being a baker to pursue yoga. At that time, everything lined up; the place I had worked at for years was getting reconstructed from the inside out, managers and owners changing. And with that change came a lot that, at first glance, I simply didn't like. Within five months, I was working at a place I hated, for a person that was incredibly immoral and uncaring. It took all the magic out of making food for people. I talked about this fear of leaving it all to pursue what I felt was my true calling, my Dharma, with my husband and my best friend often. One late night, on the floor in my kitchen, they convinced me that I had everything I truly needed. I had this passion and a strong work ethic, and more importantly, I had a community who was willing to support me though my journey, however it looked. So, the next day, I left. It was the first time I had ever left a job without having something instantly lined up (ever the responsible one), and it was so freeing to have the future open up so wide for me. Freeing and terrifying. I spent the next six months trying to grow a business. I did all the long, excruciating admin work of building a website and putting together business proposals. I had friends come over to stuff envelops full of pamphlets and make calls with me to small businesses. The plan seemed simply enough: to get my foot in the doo at offering on-sight yoga to corporate offices. I had friends in these types of careers and I saw how much good it did for them to get a few days a week to stretch and move and quiet their mind. That was one of the reasons I was going in this direction with yoga. But if I am being completely honest, I was also going this direction because that is where the money was... unfortunately, the money didn't want to find me. Me and money have never been friends. So after trying non stop and finding myself exhausted by the end of the year, I made a promise to my partner that I would take a step back from trying to "chase that bag" and just let what was going to happen, happen. A few weeks later, I found a listing on a FB yoga group for the LITL studio, looking for new teachers. I didn't care to work in a studio at the time and had not found a lot of joy in the ones I had stepped into. But for some unknown reason, I was called to this... intrigued by this seemingly simple post. I told my husband about it, swore to him that it wasn't about making money because there was no real way to make a decent living from a studio job. I also told him that I was only going to take a job there if the vibes felt right".

I walked into this gorgeous old house and was met by a bright shining smile and a warm hug by one of the owners. We sat down on the floor and talked about our experiences and our mutual love for this practice and a few weeks later I gave a sort of demo class as a guest teacher, and was hired on. Do you make a livable wage working at studios? Certainly not. But, I do have a different mind about them now. And I do think every teacher should, for a little while at least in the early years of their teaching practice, set themselves down into a local studio. Go in with an open mind and heart. And you will see the doors open up for you. I have been offered such a beautiful place to hone my skills as a teacher, take part in beautiful ceremonies, get to know other beautiful teachers and learn from each and every one of them. And, if the owners care about their craft and the teachers walking in through the door, and the community in whole, they will also make a place for you to explore all the other paths yoga often tends to take you down. offering places and spaces for you to expand and grow and become. I believe we need yoga studios. The kind filled with genuine people. And we always will. But I don't think that is where yoga ends. It is only the beginning. If you have a supportive studio, it makes all the other steps far more doable. My season right now is a season of becoming. Of getting my bearings and understanding exactly what sort of teacher I want to be. How I want to show up in these spaces. Not just in what skills I want to offer (like energy work and breath work) but also how I want to let my life integrate into those places. The best advice I ever heard for being a yoga teacher was not to care about your students. It seems a harsh piece to swallow and even hypocritical to the Yamas and Niyamas. But the point behind that advice was that the best teachers are the ones who are humbly sure of themselves, unbothered by a student voicing their enjoyment, and teaching though the act of living your life as a true yogi. Being an example is the best sort of teacher. This place of becoming that I find myself in this summer, is a place where I am realizing what sort of teacher I want to be. What sort of student I want to be. What sort of person I want to be. And if I stop trying so hard to "make it" or impress anyone, all three of those become the same thing. With love always, Niah B